Hawaii’s Not Bad

We’ve been here two days. We’ve done the beach. We’ve done Pearl Harbor. We sat around and read on our balcony. Maritha doesn’t seem to be too anxious to get going for the Majuro (we leave early Wednesday). Life is good, but Hotel internet access isn’t cheap, so I’m just keeping it short. Full details and pics later.

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We’re headed for the Marshall Islands

mapWhere are they? Go to Hawaii. Keep going. If you get to the Phillipines, you’ve gone too far.

Why are we going? Our adopted daughter, Maritha, lived there with her family until she was 9 years old. She’s now 16. It’s long over due.

maritha.jpg

How did Maritha get here? We met a doctor who served in the Peace Corps there in the 1980s. During the ’90s, she facilitated close to 100 adoptions in central North Dakota, where she (and we) lived.

Why did she come? Technically, we are Maritha’s legal guardians. The Marshall Islands are a very crowded nation of high unemployment and very bleak futures, especially for girls. Typically, girls Maritha’s current age are pregnant, uneducated, and have health problems. Maritha, for example, arrived with severely damaged hearing from untreated, repeated, parasitical ear infections. Her parents agreed to send her to us to give her an education and better healthcare.

Now you know as much as we do. I just bought a 2 gig memory card for my camera, so there will be more pictures forthcoming.

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Deathly Hallows Anyone?

True story.� My seventeen-year-old daughter couldn’t wait for our pre-ordered copy from Amazon on Saturday.� She bought one just after Midnight early Saturday morning, came home and had it ready by 8:17 a.m.� She was possibly the first to finish in the Central Standard Time Zone.� (This is the girl who, at age eight, read the first HP in 24 hours.� It only took her that long because we made her go to bed for awhile.)

My wife and I had no idea.� We were up drinking our morning coffee when she stumbled out of her room still dressed from the day before.� “It is finished,” she said, her voice strained with emotion.

“Do you need a hug?” I said.

She immediately came for the hug (from her mother) and burst into tears.� After things settled down, she claimed it was good, but the ending was “stupid.”� STUPID is her word for anything that doesn’t quite fit her idea of the way things are supposed to be, so I’m not taking it as a negative endorsement.

Our Amazon copy was in the mail box by noon.� I’m about 150 pages into it.� I’m hooked, but alas, I must grade my Adolescent Lit essays and exams by Tuesday!� Pronto graderamus!

Errr…I need to be back to Hogwarts.

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The time for the Man Purse has arrived

I was sitting at a meeting and my wallet was driving me crazy.� I was supposed to be thinking about student internships, but all I could think was, “This danged wallet is weighing me down.� I can’t take�it another�minute.”�

I’ve been keeping it in my front pants pocket for the last ten years�since it became apparant that sitting on my wallet was messing up my lower back.� This worked out fine for awhile, but at this meeting…

I just had to get rid of it – get it off my body.� The pressure.� The weight.� My leg was screaming, “Get off me!”� I took it out and put it in my briefcase, and�a sense of relief washed over me like Musak in a bank elevator (I was looking for a money metaphor).� The implications of my own materialistic obsessions aside, I put my cell phone in my brief case, too.

More and more, my brief case – my man purse – is getting used in this way.� It’s a soft vinyl case with a shoulder strap that I’ve been using for neigh fifteen years.� Primarily it’s been used for books and papers, but now it’s geting more personal – besides Wallet and Phone, there are Keys, Glasses, Toothbrushes, and Tissues.� I’m comfortable with the idea of a man purse, though a lifetime of habit still has me occasionally searching for Wallet or�Glasses.�

There are also a few kinks that need to be worked out.� For example, I went biking with my man purse strapped to my bike rack, and threw Keys, Wallet, and Phone in there.� When I got home later in the day, Sherry held up crushed�Phone and said, “Looking for this?”

“Uh, no.”� I hadn’t even known it was gone.� Apparantly�Phone and�Keys made a break for it somewhere over in Kenwood when I’d passed through earlier in the day.� I can see them leaning out that space between the sidewall fabric and the zipper.

“You go first, man.”

“No, you go.”

My money’s on Phone.�

Wallet, being more responsible and loyal, decided to stay in my man purse (does he understand that I’m rejecting him at some level?).� Good boy.�

I think the phone�was run over by a Hummer.� Some guy found both items and was�able to call home with the crushed phone.� Miracle?� Or speed dial?

I have some questions.� I only have the one, but will I start looking for man purses that match my outfits?� My mood?� My shoes?� Will people recognize it for what it truly is, or just think it’s a brief case?� Finally, if they do recognize it as a man purse, will they ridicule me like 3rd graders?� (Please leave answers below.)

The man purse is a work in progress, but I enjoy parading around with nothing in my pockets.� I’m reminded of my wife’s grandmother, who has been becoming more and more confused in recent months.� Mostly, she’d just like to take her clothes off and lay in bed.� I can understand that.

Posted in General Musings | 8 Comments

The Book

Sorry if you’ve seen this, but here’s a little video that’s worth following a link to:

http://www.devilducky.com/media/57946

Posted in General Musings | 4 Comments

Listening to my death rattle

Thursday morning I was sort of in and out of sleep�and there was this rattle.� When I finally attempted to move, a delicate balance was disturbed.� My�bloody lungs�tried to expell something – maybe�Sigourney Weaver’s nightmare.� It hurt badly, and I stayed home to huddle in my bed, praying that the rattle woud go away.�

It did, with the help of the regimen of cold remedies Sherry put me on (mostly frequent horse tablets of Vitamin C – though echinacea and Black Berry Brandy were suggested by a student).

Did my life flash before my eyes?� Did I enter the blue tunnel or hear the purple hum?� Did I contemplate the hereafter?� If I knew what was good for me, I would have done equal portions of all three, but I did none of that.� After taking care of some business over the phone, I slept until noon, and that’s when I started feeling better.� Out in the great world were I was supposed to be, things were going on as they should have (thanks Sherry, thanks Amy Jo, thanks to many others).

My own death is not something I contemplate too often, even when it stares me in the face, or rumbles in my ears.

If this non-obsession with death is abnormal or unhealthy, please let me know, along with the number of a good therapist.� Until then, may your own rattles be brief, and remind you that whatever monumental tasks you have to do that day either aren’t so monumental, or will get done without you (thanks to great people).

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Blogging Matters

My friend David recently reminded me that blogging matters.� He wrote, “Dude”�write, or post some pictures or something”�geez.”� This reminded me that, as a blogger, I have civic responsibilities.� People out there are depending on us to tell the truth, to write wrongs, to interpret the world,�and to�right songs.� We bloggers are no less important than the Helsinki Complaints Choir.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/helsinkichoir

A shout out to Hanna Erpestad for cluing me in about this choir’s great work.� I humbly blog on in their tradition.

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Things I do when I should be grading essays

I’ve got 70 essays to grade.� To make matters worse, it’s Saturday, and I promised my students I’d have them done by Tuesday.��If I’d done what I’d originally planned – graded 10 every day starting Tuesday – I’d have 30 left and time to spare tomorrow for the crossword, sudoku, and a leisurely walk with the dog.

Don’t get me wrong, I like reading student papers.� I’m interested in what they have to say.� I’m interested to find out if any of the things we’ve talked about in class have been put to good use.� For example, did they actually give any examples?� Did they write about things that matters to them?�

It’s grading them that’s the trouble.� I like the idea of coaching�students to try things to improve their essays, but ultimately�grading calls upon me to be�judge and jury.� “Thou shalt serve six weeks in C Wing, upon which time I shall reconsider�thy revision.”� No one believes they deserve to get sent to C Wing.� After all, that’s where�murderers and sex offenders are housed.� I don’t blame them, but send them I must…

But wait!� My daughter’s birthday party is tonight, and the house needs cleaning.� Granted, my three daughters can handle the duties, but why shouldn’t I vacuum?� Better yet, why shouldn’t I reorganize the video collection?�

Ironically, avoiding grading has ended other procrastinations.� I’m registered to run the Half-Marathon in June, but I haven’t started training yet.� When I went to bed last night, my plan was to get up relatively early – say 7:00 a.m. – and grade five papers.� Well, I didn’t get up until 8:00 and then my daughter wanted to meet the track team down on the Lakewalk for a workout, and…you guessed it.� Sherry and I went down with her and I put in my first 30 minute workout.� We celebrated with Starbucks and a cranberry orange scone.� Yeah, us.

I also think about stuff as an avoidance mechanism.� For example,�I have�some ideas that I hope will someday make my fortune, and I sit and think about them.� My best idea is the�lip balm�phone.� The phone is the one item that everyone will continue to need for at least the next two years (after that, we’ll probably all be wirelessly hardwired).� With the success of the camera phone, why shouldn’t other combinations work?� Why not the Chapstick phone, or its competitor, the Blixtex phone?

Another of my ideas is Myday.� It’s a day that we’d insert between Tuesday and Wednesday.� It would have rules.� The�first rule would be that it wouldn’t appear on any calendars (to make the�yearly calendar come out right, we’d just�subtract four or five days from each month).� The second rule would be that no one could schedule anything for that day – no appointments, no plans of any kind.� Every Myday morning would be a blank slate.� If we all observed it together, from�Osama and Dubya all the way down to under the freeway overpass, I think it could work, and we’d all be better off for it.� I suppose there’s no money in it for me as the founder of Myday, but I can live with that.

Finally, there’s writing on this blog, the ultimate time waster.� I’d better publish this and start in on that first essay.

Posted in General Musings | 3 Comments

Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time

Theology isn’t normally on my reading list, but David Carlson recommended�Marcus Borg�to me after we’d discussed the role of creeds in mainline denominations one night (referenced by Borg in his discussion of the Council of Nicea).

To summarize, Meeting Jesus is subtitled “The Historical Jesus and the Heart of Contemporary Faith.”� If that doesn’t really help, let me try to illuminate.� Basically, Borg describes his journey discovering who Jesus was, and is, and what this might mean to a person of faith.� He writes of the early stages of his own discovery,�when he began to realize that what he’d learned in Sunday school wasn’t very accurate, saying, “I found all of this very exciting, though it also seemed vaguely scandalous and something I shouldn’t tell my mother about.”� Exactly.� Sorry, mom.

Borg is an historian, and bascially he sets out to address common precepts that many Christians (and non-Christians) hold up as “true” and refuse/neglect to examine.� For example, the notion that the Bible is some kind of un-erring text – the Words of God, so to speak.� Nope, Borg argues� It’s a collection of texts compiled by the Council of Nicea some three hundred years after Christ.� This should not be news, but it’s surprising how ignorant Christians are of their own history (count me among the ignorant).� To listen to some, you’d think that the Bible was handed down by God (shrowded in clouds) to Billy Graham.� Did this council do a good job selecting texts that represent the message of Jesus?� Yes.� Did they also push a patriarchal agenda and�bury the more feminine metaphors describing Jesus?� Yes.� Are there other texts of the early church worth reading that weren’t included?� Yes.� In short, to read�the Bible and ignore the historical context is to misread the Bible.

The book, however, is more about Jesus, the person�as the Bible portrays him, who Borg subdivides into the Pre-Easter Jesus and Post-Easter Jesus (which seem self-explanatory, but�the terms are�not what�some might expect).

The Pre-Easter Jesus is the historical Jesus.� Of him, Borg argues that he probably wasn’t eschatological (increased my vocabulary); in other words, he didn’t see himself as divine and never would have talked about himself in those terms.� Instead, Borg argues, he was a radical “spirit person” who worked at every level to subvert the dominant religious culture of purity by preaching and living a culture of compassion (ie. hanging out with “unclean” people, healing on the Sabbath).� The implication is that most Christian circles continue to be cultures of purity – arbiters of who’s in and who’s out – and do not hold up compassion – love – as the highest virtue, nor live that idea.�

The Post-Easter Jesus is the Jesus as experienced daily by the early church�during the first century after his resurrection.� This Jesus finds his way into the Gospels, doing things and saying things right alongside the Pre-Easter Jesus.� For example, statements like, “I am the light of the world” or “I am the way, the truth, and the life”�are reflections of how the early church saw Jesus.� The Sermon on the Mount�(“Blessed are the poor…”) is a condensed version of what the early church saw his principle message to be.� Borg argues that it’s unlikely that a real Jesus would have actually said these things.� He also argues that because he may not have actually said these things doesn’t make them false.� They are still the central message of Jesus that the Gospel writers wanted to get across.� The Gospel writers, particularly John, didn’t see themselves writing history.

Borg’s bottom line isn’t that the Bible is a bunch of lies.� He argues instead that it’s a rich, complex text, like any text.� It’s a product of it’s times and�must be read as such.

There’s a lot more to dig in to in this book.� He puts together a lot of random pieces that had formerly been making clanging sounds in my head.� Primarily, Borg’s reading of the Gospels and Jesus puts what’s damaging about a lot of Christianity in sharp relief, and�builds a framework for modern people of faith�on which to rethink their lives.�

Good stuff, that Borg.�

Posted in Books | 4 Comments

Kipple and Human Development

“Kipple drives out nonkipple.”? –J.R. Isadore in Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep

I was recently admiring baby Juniper along with Susan and Theresa at LSC. Juniper’s mom, Amy Jo, had her along on a baby-goes-to-work day. We were marveling over the nine month Nipper’s ability to stand up with coffee table support, put things in her mouth, peek-a-boo, and smile. Amy Jo bragged about Juniper’s newest development. She can empty an entire bookshelf without finding the right book. She is clearly gifted.

Susan, with a 34 month old in day care, followed with information from Bernie, her daycare provider, about how astute her son is at taking out and scattering stuff — dumping toy bins and whatnot. Lego bin — dump. Play-doh supplies — dump. The assumption was that we were witnessing a developmental progression here. These youngsters are one small developmental step away from the next big thing — in this case, putting things away.

I couldn’t help myself. “The putting-away stage is a lot farther off than you think. My seventeen-year-old takes out lots of things. If she’s put any of them away, it’s news to me.”? deskAt that point, Susan remarked that I should blog this, so here we are. Thanks, Susan.

Here’s Kylie’s desk. It actually looks pretty good here. I think I captured this Fuji moment about two days after a major anti-Kipple campaign.

 

See how quickly and silently it creeps. Honestly, my desk looks very similar. As Philip K. Dick said, “�Kipple drives out non-Kipple.”? That’s a natural law. I think, however, that humans accelerate the phenomenon simply by being present. Let’s look at some more examples.

drawersMaia’s drawers, as one can see, are literally bursting with kipple. I believe that she tries mightily to keep these drawers closed, but it just cannot be done. The natural blockbuster force of kipple is just too strong.

bedNot to be left out, this is Maritha’s beading table and bed. Sometimes she just has to give up and play chopsticks on the keyboard. Music tends to soothe the wild kipple spirit.

I’m not criticizing these girls. They are busy with lives full of creativity and excitement. I know for certain that fighting against kipple is a losing battle because I lost that battle long ago.

Our own kitchen table illustrates this nicely. tableMy point here is that human development pretty much reaches its zenith when Juniper starts pulling Mercer Mayer off the shelves. Remember that just a week ago she was sucking on the pages, so it would seem that she’s gathering momentum for real progress. Don’t be fooled.

Late at night, one can feel the dark, silent forces of kipple gathering to clutter our lives. It only makes sense that human involvement exponentially exacerbates kipple, resulting in human tragedies like Hurricane Katrina, or the Lego I stepped on while en route to the bathroom late one February night in 1997.

Of course, it’s natural to succumb to the illusion that we can fight against it. If you come to my house — assuming you call ahead — you might notice that nothing looks like the images above. We will probably look relaxed and happy, but don’t let that fool you. We’ve just waged a heroic battle against our old foe, and while we appear to have won, our victory is fleeting.

Maybe Neil Young said it best in back in 1980. “Your buildings, if they rise again would do much better on the ocean floor. They’ll never feel the way they did before. They did before.”? –“Lost in Space,” Hawks and Doves.

Better yet, F. Scott Fitzgerald. “So we beat on, boats against the current of kipple, borne back ceaselessly into the clutter.”? —Gatsby (last page).

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