Things I do when I should be grading essays

I’ve got 70 essays to grade.� To make matters worse, it’s Saturday, and I promised my students I’d have them done by Tuesday.��If I’d done what I’d originally planned – graded 10 every day starting Tuesday – I’d have 30 left and time to spare tomorrow for the crossword, sudoku, and a leisurely walk with the dog.

Don’t get me wrong, I like reading student papers.� I’m interested in what they have to say.� I’m interested to find out if any of the things we’ve talked about in class have been put to good use.� For example, did they actually give any examples?� Did they write about things that matters to them?�

It’s grading them that’s the trouble.� I like the idea of coaching�students to try things to improve their essays, but ultimately�grading calls upon me to be�judge and jury.� “Thou shalt serve six weeks in C Wing, upon which time I shall reconsider�thy revision.”� No one believes they deserve to get sent to C Wing.� After all, that’s where�murderers and sex offenders are housed.� I don’t blame them, but send them I must…

But wait!� My daughter’s birthday party is tonight, and the house needs cleaning.� Granted, my three daughters can handle the duties, but why shouldn’t I vacuum?� Better yet, why shouldn’t I reorganize the video collection?�

Ironically, avoiding grading has ended other procrastinations.� I’m registered to run the Half-Marathon in June, but I haven’t started training yet.� When I went to bed last night, my plan was to get up relatively early – say 7:00 a.m. – and grade five papers.� Well, I didn’t get up until 8:00 and then my daughter wanted to meet the track team down on the Lakewalk for a workout, and…you guessed it.� Sherry and I went down with her and I put in my first 30 minute workout.� We celebrated with Starbucks and a cranberry orange scone.� Yeah, us.

I also think about stuff as an avoidance mechanism.� For example,�I have�some ideas that I hope will someday make my fortune, and I sit and think about them.� My best idea is the�lip balm�phone.� The phone is the one item that everyone will continue to need for at least the next two years (after that, we’ll probably all be wirelessly hardwired).� With the success of the camera phone, why shouldn’t other combinations work?� Why not the Chapstick phone, or its competitor, the Blixtex phone?

Another of my ideas is Myday.� It’s a day that we’d insert between Tuesday and Wednesday.� It would have rules.� The�first rule would be that it wouldn’t appear on any calendars (to make the�yearly calendar come out right, we’d just�subtract four or five days from each month).� The second rule would be that no one could schedule anything for that day – no appointments, no plans of any kind.� Every Myday morning would be a blank slate.� If we all observed it together, from�Osama and Dubya all the way down to under the freeway overpass, I think it could work, and we’d all be better off for it.� I suppose there’s no money in it for me as the founder of Myday, but I can live with that.

Finally, there’s writing on this blog, the ultimate time waster.� I’d better publish this and start in on that first essay.