The Negative Side of the Moon

There are too many people supporting the existence and prolonged life of the moon. The moon is a lifeless ball of dust which is ultimately an eyesore and an inconvenience to many. We have suffered much too long under this godless orb (Moon Haters Club). It’s very being is one of depression and repetition. Our moon doesn’t even sport a proper name. For example, Saturn has a variety of moons with thought out and lively names like Titan and Europa. I propose a few solutions to this moon problem. One of which would be to explode it with a nuclear weapon which could prove to be a valuable test of weaponry. The other plan would be to attach a series of powerful rockets to the surface of the moon in an effort to drive the moon away into space. Both of these ideas are very realistic and in my eyes necessary to make a better world. The moon should be destroyed because it is visually unappealing, it negatively influences the tide, and it’s too close for comfort to Earth.

Many people would collectively agree that the moon’s appearance is downright painful. Through my eyes I see an inch of pain and disparity. I am forced to turn my head away to avoid ruining my day or night. It’s covered in disgusting moon sand which is grey and hideous, the thought of which brings angry tears to my eyes. Apparently my views are shared by many like Melvin Gunther who writes, “Every time I glance at that lifeless, horrible space circle, I just want to scratch my eyes out��? (151). Everyone would be much more satisfied with the night sky if the moon were gone. Once this is accomplished everyone’s lives will be improved and no one will have to worry about ruining their day with the sight of the moon.

One of the moon’s greatest effects on the earth and its’ inhabitants is the daily tide. The tide fluctuates up and down throughout the day, making things like fishing and skim-boarding more difficult. Imagine not worrying about the tide washing your life away while being buried in the sand up to your head. Without the existence of the moon, the world would be a much safer place (Jogen 14). Skim-boarding is my favorite water-sport and the tide has a very negative effect on my ability to exercise my skimming skills.  I can only skim-board at high tide because the rocks are exposed during a low tide, unless of course, you can find an all sand beach. It is possible to skim-board with rocks present, and it can be very fun, but it then becomes an easy way to get hurt. I think that all skim-boarders would agree that a consistent water level would improve the sport greatly.

I think I speak for everyone when I say, “The moon is making me paranoid. It’s just looking at me.��? The moon is much too close to the Earth. Its presence is just obnoxious and it makes me want to close the curtains and put tin-foil on my head to avoid it reading my thoughts. According to Jeffrey Auffman, “Applying a generous portion of tin foil around the head will cut down or even completely alleviate the moon being able to read your thoughts��? (4). Its light can be just un-called for, even though it’s just a reflection of the suns’ light. With the moon being gone, everyone will feel much more comfortable when leaving their homes at night.

These examples clearly demonstrate the importance of wiping out the moon. Many people would agree that it would be an excellent test of weaponry and a nuclear explosion in space could possibly stimulate extra-terrestrial contact. The other alternative, being escorting it into space with rockets, is a lot more science based and it could really open up possibilities of defending the earth from future meteor impacts. Simply escorting the moon deep into space would be possible with powerful rockets (Eyehag 10). Astronomers have discovered an incoming asteroid that will miss the earth by mere miles in 2029 (Gunther 11). The destruction of the moon could pave the way for future earth-protecting measures and ideas. Not only would the annihilation of the moon pave the way for scientists, but it will greatly benefit everyone on the Earth.









Works Cited 10 Feb. 2009 Moon Haters Club. Feb. 22 2009

Aufmann, Jeffrey. “General Moon Characteristics.��? German Moon Rules 5.2 (2006): 2-5 5 Nov. 2008. Down With Moon Organization. Feb 22 2009

Eyehag, Paige. “Space Science Updates.��? Astrophysics Monthly 19.4 (2008) 9-13

Gunther, Melvin. Frightening Moon Stories. Boulder: Colorado General Press, 2004

Jogen, Marta. “Tide Fluctuations and how it Relates to the Moon.��? Science Journal of Canada 2.3 (2007) 14-16

Spalts, Jim. “Moons of the Solar System.��? Space Ideas 23.1 (2008) 10-24